Category: Allies
British Mounted Infantry in Egypt

The British conquest of Egypt (1882), also known as the Anglo-Egyptian War
From Hiroshima’s first operational strike to the Demon Core’s deadly lessons, this is how nukes, missteps, and raw physics still terrify a very modern world.
Why Nukes Still Keep Putin Relevant
Humanity has a weird love-hate relationship with nuclear weapons. They are at once everywhere and nowhere. The spectre of nuclear war shapes geopolitics unlike anything else. However, nobody really knows what that would look like.

The Trump Card
Nukes are the only reason anybody on Planet Earth still takes Vladimir Putin seriously. Russia has a population of around 146 million. Russia’s gross domestic product falls just behind that of Italy and just ahead of that of Canada. Germany’s economy is twice as vibrant as that of the Russian Federation.
Ours is ten times larger. Were it not for the 4,309 operational nuclear warheads that Putin maintains, Russia would be rightfully viewed as a Third World backwater goat-spit of a nation. Absent those nukes, the world would have long ago banded together and spanked the Russians right out of Ukraine. However, nuclear war scares absolutely everybody, and for good reason.

Nuclear weapons have only been used twice in real combat, and that was back in 1945. Both of those bombs were essentially prototypes.
North Korea conducted the world’s last live nuclear test in 2017. Imagine how much the world has changed since 1945. Back then, telephones were the size of shoeboxes and were tethered to the wall.
Now they are smaller than a box of wooden matches, ride in your pocket, and will let you talk to people in Norway from a subway in Istanbul. Nuclear weapons evolved just as transformationally; it is simply that nobody tries them out anymore.
Hiroshima: The First Operational Atomic Strike
On 6 November 1945, we dropped the world’s first operational nuclear weapon on Hiroshima, Japan. The Hiroshima bomb was a gun-type design powered by uranium-235. In this case, a slug of uranium was fired along a short barrel to impact a target made from the same stuff.

This violent kinetic reaction created a critical mass that resulted in a nuclear detonation. The Hiroshima bomb had a nominal yield equivalent to around 15,000 tons of conventional TNT explosive. It killed 70,000 people at the time of detonation and claimed about the same number later from residual effects.
Nagasaki: When Smoke Saved Kokura
Three days later, we deployed a second nuclear device over Nagasaki. Curiously, Nagasaki was not the primary target. The second atomic bomb strike was to be directed at Kokura, but thick smoke over the target spared that city. The aircraft commander, a 25-year-old Army Air Corps pilot named Charles Sweeney, made the call on the fly to switch targets to Nagasaki.

This second bomb was an altogether different design that was markedly more complicated than the first. This weapon was powered by plutonium-239. Plutonium-239 does not occur in nature.
This isotope is a byproduct of the reaction that occurs when uranium-238 captures a loose neutron inside a nuclear reactor. Plutonium-239 is more easily produced than uranium-235. However, it is tougher to get plutonium-239 to go off uniformly.
The second bomb used an altogether different mechanism. A series of chemical explosive charges configured similarly to the individual components of a soccer ball were arrayed circumferentially around a plutonium core.
When carefully detonated at exactly the same moment, this created an immense imploding pressure wave that drove the plutonium to critical mass and resulted in a nuclear detonation. This nuclear strike killed 74,000 people at the moment of detonation and claimed a further 70,000 souls by the end of the year.
Manhattan Project Money, Pressure, and Mistakes
The Manhattan Project was the program that created these two weapons. It cost $2 billion in 1945. That would be about $30 billion today.
The Manhattan Project was the second-most expensive military undertaking of World War 2. Curiously, the most expensive was the production of the B-29 Superfortress bomber that delivered the weapons. The overall cost of the B-29 program was closer to $3 billion.

Nuclear research in 1944 and 1945 was moving at light speed. We desperately needed the A-bomb as a tool to end the war. We knew that every other major combatant nation on Planet Earth was rabid for this capability. Whoever first deployed nuclear weapons at scale would undoubtedly emerge victorious. That pressure to produce resulted in some tidy little tragedies.
How Atomic Energy Gets So Big From So Little
Nuclear energy is just crazy weird if you think about it. The laws of conservation of mass and energy posit that matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed; they just change forms. When you strike a match, the fuel in the match doesn’t actually cease to exist. It just changes into hot gases, smoke, ash, and the like. Those laws no longer apply when it comes to nuclear reactions.

When the first bomb detonated over Hiroshima, about 0.7 grams’ worth of uranium—roughly the same weight as a small paperclip—was instantly transformed into pure energy. That uranium no longer existed within the physical universe.
It had actually been turned into energy in accordance with Einstein’s E=MC2. If my math is correct, that paperclip’s worth of uranium released as much energy as two million conventional 155mm high-explosive artillery rounds all going off at one time. Wow…
The Demon Core: A Softball-Sized Killer
The thing about radioactive material is that you really don’t want to get any of it on you. The half-life for plutonium-239 is 24,110 years. That means it takes 24,110 years for half of a quantity of radioactive plutonium-239 to degrade into something less lethal. That stuff is unimaginably dangerous.

Back in 1945, we had little clue what we were doing. The eggheads who made it called this particular sphere of plutonium gallium alloy Rufus. Rufus was 8.9 cm in diameter. That’s roughly 3.5 inches. For the sake of comparison, a regulation softball is 3.8 inches across.
Plutonium is really dense. This softball-sized chunk weighed 14 pounds. As plutonium corrodes readily in the presence of oxygen, this sphere was coated with nickel to help retain its stability. Rufus eventually became known as the Demon Core.
We built this monster to power the third atomic bomb that was obviously never dropped on Japan. When Japan capitulated, the core was retained at the Los Alamos Laboratory in New Mexico for research. One of the questions that needed to be answered was exactly how close this thing was to criticality just sitting on a table.
Daghlian’s Accident: A Brick, A Spark, A Fatal Dose
Plutonium naturally releases neutrons. Focusing these neutrons back into the material is what causes the mass to go supercritical and explode. How much of that neutron flux was required to get the party started was important to know.
On 21 August 1945, a 24-year-old physicist named Haroutune “Harry” Krikor Daghlian was studying just that. To do so, he stacked tungsten carbide bricks circumferentially around the magic ball. Tungsten carbide is an effective neutron reflector. While he was occupied doing this, a 29-year-old military security guard named Robert Hemmerly sat at a desk some dozen feet away.

As Daghlian carefully stacked these heavy bricks around the core, he accidentally let one slip out of his hands. This thing bounced off the plutonium sphere, creating an impressive shower of sparks.
He immediately moved the offending brick back to its intended spot. 25 days later, Harry Daghlian died of acute radiation syndrome. Private Hemmerly succumbed to acute myelogenous leukemia in 1978, 33 years after the accident. Hemmerly was 62 at the time.
Tickling the Dragon’s Tail: Slotin’s Fatal Slip
On 21 May 1946, a physicist named Louis Slotin was tending to Rufus alongside seven assistants. They were, likewise, studying the effects of neutron reflectors on critical mass. Slotin was actually scheduled to leave Los Alamos. He was only present to demonstrate the technique to Alvin Graves, another physicist who was planning to use this core during Operation Crossroads, the nuclear tests at the Bikini Atoll.

In this case, the reflectors were a matching pair of machined beryllium spheres. The astute film nerd will recall the comic reference to beryllium spheres in the epic sci-fi farce Galaxy Quest. Galaxy Quest is one of my favorite movies. If you haven’t seen it, check it out. You’ll thank me later.

Anyway, the protocol required that these spheres be arranged around the plutonium core using shims to maintain a slight separation so the mass did not become critical. However, Louis Slotin was a rebel. Arcane workplace safety rules didn’t apply to him.
Slotin had done this many times with several different cores, often while dressed in blue jeans and cowboy boots. His technique was to wedge a flat-tip screwdriver in between the beryllium spheres and twist as needed to adjust the spacing. When the esteemed nuclear physicist Enrico Fermi heard about this, he predicted that Slotin would be dead within a year. A colleague named Richard Feynman referred to this unorthodox technique as “Tickling the dragon’s tail.”

As he lowered the top sphere, Slotin’s screwdriver slipped. The two spheres were in contact for less than a second before Slotin flipped the top half onto the floor. Slotin was crouching over the apparatus at the time, so his body shielded most of the rest of his team from the explosive neutron burst.

Slotin was 35 at the time. He died of acute radiation poisoning nine days later. Of the remaining six people present, Marion Cieslicki succumbed to acute myelocytic leukemia 19 years after the accident in 1965. Surprisingly, the rest all died of fairly reasonable causes.

What A Real Nuclear Exchange Might Mean Today
The Hiroshima bomb had a nominal output of 15,000 tons of TNT. The Russian Tsar Bomba, the largest nuclear weapon ever detonated, was 3,000 times more powerful. The W88 warhead that currently rides atop modern American nuclear missiles produces 475 kilotons of explosive force, roughly 32 times that of the Hiroshima bomb.

I read recently that somebody believed that the US would return to its current GDP roughly a decade after a global nuclear exchange. Other really smart folks think a serious nuclear war would end all life on Planet Earth. Personally, I’d just as soon we not answer that question any time soon.
For most people, war in Vietnam means just one thing: the doomed US campaign of the 1960s and 70s. As Stuart Hadaway explains, there was a much earlier conflict involving the British and arising out of the post-war chaos in the region. Bizarrely, it also involved surrendered Japanese forces and aircraft in support of British operations.

In August 1945, the sudden outbreak of peace caught South East Asia Command completely by surprise. Plans were being laid for operations stretching far into 1946, including Operation Zipper, the amphibious invasion of Malaya. Extensive preparations had been made, including training and equipping RAF units and personnel for detached, expeditionary operations under field conditions, with adequate supplies and vehicles. This would prove invaluable as an urgent need suddenly arose to send smaller forces to targets all across the region to seize key points, free prisoners of war and take the official surrender of Japanese forces still in the field.
For French Indochina, this led to Operation Masterdom. The Japanese had moved in Indochina in 1941 to secure their route to the oil and rubber reserves of Malaya, effectively taking over control from the Vichy French. Throughout the war the country had been something of a sideshow. It fell between the Chinese Theatre of Operations and South East Asia Command, who clashed several times over who should take control of the area. Neither particularly wanted it for immediate strategic reasons, but rather for political reasons relating to post-war spheres of influence. In the end, at the Potsdam Conference, the country was split along the 16th Parallel, the north going to China and the south to SEAC.
Inside the country chaos reigned. A tenuous French government maintained power, while a dizzying array of internal splinter groups agitated for independence in various political flavours. In March 1945 the Japanese officially toppled the French government and the country was declared to be the independent country of Vietnam.
The Allies, particularly the Americans, had supported various groups regardless of ideology, looking for likely leaders of post-war regimes that they could control. (Famously, the Americans even convinced the Chinese to let Ho Chi Minh out of prison so he could return to Indochina.) As the war neared an end, the activities of the Americans became increasingly focused on not just removing the Japanese and their puppet government, but also the French. Their staunch anti-Imperialist stance meant they wanted all of the European Powers to give up their possessions in the Far East, but they faced a tough resistance to this idea from the British. The French, however, were in less of a position to protest. Soon, US-backed Indo-Chinese groups were attacking not only the Japanese, but also the French attempting to regain control.
On the other hand, the British were equally determined to let the French keep the country, and a task force was sent to reinstall the French government in mid-September 1945. The 20th Indian Division was despatched under Major General Douglas Gracey, who was to have both military and political control in the country (although he reported militarily to Field Marshal Slim in Burma and politically to Lord Mountbatten at SEAC, who provided sometimes contradictory instructions). To support these separate missions, two RAF formations were also detailed for Indochina. An RAF Element under Air Cdre Walter Cheshire was added to the Control Commission, again reporting to Mountbatten, while No. 908 Wing under Gp Capt F. C. Sturgiss was formed to support the Army, and was controlled via AHQ Burma by Sir Keith Park as Allied Air Commander at SEAC.
The lines between these two formations was blurred from the start, and became more so when No. 908 Wing was disbanded and Air Head Quarters French Indochina, under Cheshire, was formed at RAF Saigon, the airfield at Tan Son Nhut just outside the city. The two RAF headquarters were co-located, and nobody seemed entirely clear to which organisation they nominally belonged. Instead, the whole HQ staff simply pitched in and did the work that needed doing, without worrying too much about the administrative distinctions.
Diverse Groups
If the members of the higher command structure were confused, this was even truer for those lower down the chain. The Spitfire Mk. VIIIs of 273 Sqn began to arrive at Tan Son Nhut on 19 September 1945, eight days after the army had begun landing, and found themselves occupying an airfield full of Japanese aircraft still guarded and operated by the Japanese! Even a month later the Operations Record Book (ORB) would record: ‘The situation in Saigon is bewildering, though, when we have our former enemies now our allies against a foe of which nearly all the squadron never knew the existence.’
This view permeated all ranks, with the subtle shades of political allegiances and agendas being lost on most of the incoming British. After the British and French mounted a coup to overthrown the new Vietnamese government and re-establish colonial rule, violence broke out around the capital and across the country. The diverse groups taking up arms against the French, and now the British, were a bewildering array – one intelligence report, slightly hysterical in tone, even talks about ‘Buddhist guerrillas’ – and for the most part the whole lot were lumped together as ‘Annamites’, after one of the country’s regions.
Although the war was over, victory did not mean a reduction of commitments for the British. Victory brought new challenges which ran well into the 1960s. For the first time in Britain peacetime conscription was maintained, but National Service could not alleviate the manpower shortage, nor was it cheap. Garrisons in Europe and the Middle East drained resources, as would financial difficulties – efforts in the Malayan Emergency only sustainable because profits from the colony funded military action. However, in 1945, there were urgencies Britain had to tackle in the Far East. Japanese forces had to be surrendered and repatriated, and newly-liberated colonies had to be administered until European governments returned.
Operation Masterdom was one case. Eager to go in, the British only arrived after the official surrender of Japan because of restrictions imposed by General Douglas MacArthur. This meant those imprisoned in camps were denied access to aid, but local revolutionary groups filled the power vacuum. When British and Indian troops entered Indochina to free prisoners and secure the country, they faced a new war. In one of history’s oddities, they utilised rearmed Japanese soldiers in a successful campaign after imposing hard won victory upon them.
Setting a precedent for the next half century, a professional and experienced British force led by men well-versed in internal security matters completed their objectives and signed responsibility over to French authorities before withdrawing.
The Spitfire pilots also found themselves in unfamiliar operational as well as geographic and political territory as strict rules of engagement were imposed by high authority. Only in certain areas, and under specific conditions, could they open fire on ground targets, and even then only after leaflets had been dropped. In effect, these rules meant that no action was possible at all – even on the rare occasions all of the conditions were met, the pass to drop leaflets was enough to cause the enemy to melt away.
For pilots fresh from the crucible of the Burma campaign, this was a deeply frustrating situation, especially as British and (more so) French units on the ground were coming under regular attack and they were impotent to help. When the first offensive strike operation was authorised on 16 October, the ORB records that there was ‘great excitement’, and that: ‘The team was selected by drawing out of a hat and then they were briefed. Then there was a great disappointment, the show was cancelled.’

Successful Attacks
Finally, on 11 December, it was recorded that: ‘At last the great day has arrived and permission has been given to strafe the Ammanites and give close support to French troops who are threatened by 1,000 Ammanites in the area MZ8086 northeast of Ban Me Thuot.’ Three Spitfire Mk. XIVs (which had begun arriving in late November) made successful attacks. To add to the momentousness of the day, that afternoon another highlight of the deployment occurred: the official surrender of the Japanese garrison: ‘At 16:00 hours a very impressive ‘Sword Surrendering’ ceremony took place outside Station Headquarters, when seventy-three Japanese Air Force Officers surrendered their swords to a similar number of Royal Air Force officers being of the same rank or status. Sqn Ldr W. J. Hibbert, Flt Lts W. E. Steele, S. S. Shisho, Fg Offs R. K. Parry, W. Hayes, B. Hirst, J. B. Wingate, Plt Offs H. Keen, and E. Gaukroger were the officers of the squadron who received swords from their equivalent Japanese officers – and weren’t they delighted!’
No doubt the event was particularly satisfying for Flt Lt Shisho, a Burmese officer who had not seen his family since the Japanese invasion.
While the Spitfires continued to fly regular reconnaissance sweeps and make ‘shows of force’ in support of land operations, the French had no such restrictions on their actions. Or rather, their only restrictions were with their equipment. There were not many French aircraft in the country; a few Moraine 500s (license built Fiesler Storchs), some Catalina flying boats, and a handful of salvaged Japanese fighters.
This issue was passed all the way up to Mountbatten and Park, the latter of whom was emphatic that the RAF could not loan aircraft to foreign powers. A wave of political issues entered the equation, from the Air Ministry wanting to help the French so as to ease negotiations to keep using Tan Son Nhut as a transport base, the disapproval of the anti-French Americans. SEAC itself was not keen as the Americans were demanding their Lend-Lease aircraft back, leaving the Command short of aircraft across the theatre. In the end, some cast-off Spitfire VIIIs were reluctantly passed to the French in mid-November, on the strict understanding they had the personnel and equipment to operate and maintain them. As it turned out, they French did not. As a consequence, they would be plagued by high accident and unserviceability rates. In fact, the attack by 273 Sqn on 11 December had only been staged because the French had no serviceable Spitfires themselves.
Gremlin Task Force
While the Spitfires conducted patrols and occasional close air support, and a detachment of Mosquitos of No. 684 Sqn conducted a photographic survey of the country to aid map-making, an entirely different RAF force was also in the air over Indochina: Gremlin Task Force.
Saigon was ideally placed to form an important hub in the various air routes that criss-crossed South East Asia. However, transport aircraft, or even bombers that could be used as transports, were in short supply, with fuel for them even rarer. Or, at least, British and American aircraft and fuel was. What the RAF had access to at Tan Son Nhut, though, were plentiful Japanese aircraft, along with stores, aircrew and maintenance staff along with large stocks of fuel that could not be used on Allied aircraft. Japanese soldiers were already being used to supplement the British and Indian Army (and RAF Regiment) on the ground in defending key points, including the airfield, which was attacked by guerrillas several times.

the British.
Doubtless these same problems caused alarm and despondency among the controllers at their destinations, especially if they had not been warned in advance that ‘mute’ Japanese aircraft were about to descend on them. For the most part the system ran smoothly, and British and Japanese ground crew worked well together. To begin with they were not supposed to mix, but inevitably, and as working relations improved, so any tension between the erstwhile enemies cooled. LAC Stan Collinson recalled: ‘The one thing that really annoyed us was that there was an edict from above that there was to be no fraternising in any conceivable way. Of course, it’s like all these rules, they’re all open to interpretation, and it becomes a necessity if you are working on these jobs, you have to talk with them… The people who were actually there [in Saigon] were what you might call the draftees, not the gung-ho types we’d had out in Burma or anything like that – they were a load of nutters, them.’
Heightened Circumstance
On the other hand, there was distinct friction between the British and the French authorities, even if among the civilian population relations were good. After months or years living in the jungle, the ORB for 273 Sqn records that ‘morale was high and everybody was delighted to see the well dressed French women in Saigon… [as well as at] the novelty and proximity of a practically European town with plenty of things to buy’.

However, over time the interaction with the local populations decreased as the level of violence increased, and the amenities on the airfield improved to include a cinema and a canteen. For many the only French that they came into contact with, albeit indirectly, were the authorities – military and political – who were doing their best to reimpose colonial control. In these heightened circumstances their actions were, at times, heavy handed.
At RAF Tan Son Nhut, a symbol of this was the saga of the flagpole on the terminal building. When the French Air Force returned to the station, they insisted on taking the Union Flag down from the flagpole and putting up the French Tricolour. The author’s source, who claimed to have had nothing to do with the episode, yet was strangely well-informed, recalled the consensus among the RAF staff was: ‘…that was an obvious insult, wasn’t it?’ So, at night, the Tricolour mysteriously disappeared and the British flag went back up. The French insisted the flags be swapped again, and they were. This time a group of RAF personnel, who had carefully worked out that the flagpole outside the Governor’s Palace in Saigon was the tallest in the country, ‘borrowed’ the pole and placed it next to the existing one on the terminal. Come dawn, there was the British flag alongside but above the tricolour. In fairness to the French, no effort was made to remove the new pole even though they were clearly less than impressed. The local RAF opinion was that, as a consequence, the French suffered something of a ‘sense of humour failure’.
Tight Rules of Engagement
At the end of 1945, RAF operations began to wind down. Their surveys finished, 684 Sqn withdrew their Mosquito detachment in January, 1946, moving it to Bangkok. Gremlin Task Force supported this move as one of their last tasks, standing down soon afterwards after having clocked up over 2,000 sorties.
Partly this was a logical progression as the French strength in Indo China grew, but it was also due to an increasing shortage of spares for the Japanese aircraft. On the other hand, 273 Sqn were notified they would be disbanded at the end of that month. In mid-January, the first personnel were being withdrawn to Burma, and on 31 January the squadron stood down. Two weeks later RAF Saigon was also closed, although a small staging post remained at Tan Son Nhut.
The RAF contribution to the liberation and re-colonisation of French Indochina had been small but important. It had also been shackled by tight rules of engagement and other limitations imposed by the French, Americans and by the British themselves. While this may have been frustrating at times, particularly to the Spitfire pilots, it did at least keep Britain largely disengaged from the problems within the country, and avoided an escalation of involvement in a shooting-war that was none of their concern. Unlike other operations, such as that to liberate the Netherlands East Indies, the British were able to do their job and get out without getting bogged down.
The French and the Americans would not be so lucky. In that respect, Operation Masterdom was a complete success.
The British in Indonesia
A particularly bloody episode was had in the Dutch East Indies. Following the Japanese occupation of the Dutch colonies, a republican government was installed, this government did not desire a Dutch return. However, the Dutch were keen to regain control, and despite a dislike of a European administered Far East, the US loaned $10m to the Dutch to facilitate their return. Weakened by German occupation, the Dutch had no real significant force until early 1946 and the British agreed, reluctantly, to administer the East Indies in their place.
British troops arrived in September 1945, tasked with restoring order and faced with the repatriation of some 300,000 Japanese as well having to free POWs. While clashes occurred, the British had not the will nor resources to commit to a long struggle to regain Indonesia for the Dutch. In October, the Japanese tried to regain the authority they relinquished to Indonesians. The cities of Pekalongan and Bandung were taken with ease, but Semarang was the scene of a bloody contest. By the time Japanese soldiers were repatriated, 500 Japanese and 2,000 Indonesians had been killed. A British led evacuation of Indo-Europeans and European internees followed as troops encountered stronger resistance. A brief ceasefire was arranged on 2 November 1945, but fighting soon resumed. Republican attacks against Allied and pro-Dutch civilians reached a peak in November and December, with 1,200 killed in Bandung alone.
The Battle of Surabaya would be bloodiest battle of the revolution. 6,000 British and Indian troops landed in the city and there was hand-to-hand fighting in every street. Thousands perished as the fighting continued until 29 November. Defeat at Surabaya permanently disadvantaged Republican forces, yet the battle galvanised support for independence and reminded the Dutch they faced a well-organised and popular resistance. On Java and Sumatra, the Dutch enjoyed success in urban areas, but could not subdue rural areas. On outer islands Republican sentiment was not as strong and they were occupied with ease. Indonesian independence would eventually be achieved in 1949. 5,000 Dutch would die in the campaign, as would tens of thousands of Indonesian combatants. Estimates of Indonesian civilian deaths vary between 25,000 and 100,000. The last British troops left Indonesia in November 1946 and in their shorter campaigns, 1,200 British and Indian soldiers would be killed, as would more than 1,000 Japanese.
Sunday Shoot-a-Round # 315
I’m old enough to remember when commercial air travel was fun. When I was a young man, your family walked you to and from the gate. When there was any security, it was fairly perfunctory.
At a lot of smaller airports, there weren’t any at all. And yet, air travel was still pretty darn safe. If you needed yet another reason to revile the memory of Osama bin Laden, then there you go.
Nowadays, flying commercial is just the worst. Absolutely everything about it is miserable. Whatever enjoyable tidbits there might yet remain are drowned out by the toxic combination of suffocating paranoia and unfettered corporate greed. My trek to Las Vegas for SHOT Show earlier this year was a splendid example.
The Chaos
In the past, airlines were fractionated into two broad categories. Budget airlines would sell you a ticket from Memphis to Zimbabwe for about 30 bucks. However, once they had you committed, you then had to pay extra for an actual seat, a seat belt, bathroom privileges and oxygen rental. By the time you add all that stuff up, you’ve paid the equivalent of a real-live airplane ticket. They didn’t think we knew that, yet here we are, talking openly about it.
I’m cheap, so I booked with Spirit. They offered a non-stop flight from Memphis to Vegas at a decent price. Right after I secured my tickets, I saw on the news that Spirit Airlines had declared bankruptcy … yet again. I got a helpful email explaining that this would have no bearing on my travel plans. I clearly do not understand the practical machinations of corporate finance terribly well.
Then, I got an email apologizing that my flight had changed. I expected perhaps takeoff time bumped a bit one way or another. Nope. What had been non-stop Memphis to Vegas was now Memphis to Orlando and then on to Las Vegas. Most reputable maps will demonstrate that Orlando is in the exact opposite direction from Las Vegas.
The layover in Orlando was, no kidding, nine hours. By the time I finally got to Vegas, SHOT Show could’ve very well been over. I rightfully canceled that leg of the voyage. A little scrambling found me on the replacement trip via United Airlines, with a brief layover in Denver.
In the past, major carriers like United typically charged a respectable fee, but they were pretty cool about it. Non-alcoholic drinks and some cursory snacks were free. Some of them would even let you check a bag gratis. Apparently, something changed about that since I flew last.
I got these draconian Nazi emails explaining that if I tried to carry anything more substantial than a pack of gum onto the airplane, they would charge me an extra $65. I couldn’t check in until I gave them a credit card.
As a result, I was traveling light, like really light — think indigent Sudanese refugee. My little backpack was about the size of a lunchbox. If you saw some weird guy slinking around the SHOT Show in a loincloth, that would be me. Just blame United Airlines.
The Voyage
I left the house well in advance of takeoff, expecting the obligatory couple of hours of being treated like a master criminal by the sullen security people. I’m not sure exactly how they did it, but Uncle Sam hardwired within me an insensible fear of being late. Perhaps it had something to do with making sure I didn’t fly my Army helicopter into an artillery barrage or leave some poor slob out to die on a forsaken battlefield.
As a result, I am forever just a little bit early for absolutely everything. That’s likely diagnosable on some level. My wife covets your prayers.
The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) people were friendly enough, meaning they didn’t actually spit on me when I asked if I should remove my belt or not.
However, when I got through the big machine that either renders you sterile (too late, I’ve been fixed) or steals your soul (also too late, that belongs to Jesus), my modest little backpack was nowhere to be found. I knew in an instant that I was doomed.
The Crime
With great trepidation, I approached the stern-looking TSA guy who now squared off against my tiny bag. He asked if I had anything sharp or dangerous packed inside it. I kind of thought ensuring there were no sharp or dangerous objects in my bag was the whole point of the exercise. However, I assured him I had not brought along anything even remotely sinister.
Upon further reflection, I did admit to packing some Pop-Tarts. Pop-Tarts are indeed dangerous but only in the diabetic sense of the term. A Pop-Tart would be a suboptimal tool with which to commandeer an airplane.
The TSA guy focused on my shaving kit. He rooted around for a while and emerged with my toothpaste. Hefting my half-empty tube of Colgate, he looked at me like I was Jeffrey Dahmer’s unwashed psycho cousin. “This is more than 3.7 ounces,” he said, like that should explain everything.
Legit, I then inexplicably apologized for bringing toothpaste on my trip to Las Vegas. I really hadn’t known that toothpaste was somehow intrinsically bad. He then further opined that my tube was too big.
I offered to squeeze most of it out, but he was unmoved. I then reflexively thanked him for stealing my toothpaste and went on my way. I suspect he texted his wife and said, “Hey, sweetheart. It’s been a great day. I just scored some awesome toothpaste from this idiot guy.
The Aftermath
I found a smaller tube of toothpaste for sale in the Denver airport that was about the size of my little finger. It set me back $4.25. I’m pretty sure that’s more per gram than refined plutonium.
Regardless, all’s well that ends well, I suppose. The second leg from Denver to Vegas was delayed two hours, so I had time to type up this GunCrank column while I waited at the gate.
Canada’s long-promised gun “buyback” is already collapsing under the weight of its own bad assumptions, and the early numbers make that painfully obvious.
After years of buildup, bureaucracy, and political chest-thumping, the federal government’s test run managed to recover 25 firearms out of an expected 200. That’s not a hiccup. That’s a face-plant. And it perfectly illustrates why this entire program was doomed from the start.
According to Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms (CCRKBA), this so-called buyback is nothing more than compensated confiscation. The government didn’t own these firearms. It didn’t manufacture them. It didn’t sell them. Yet it now demands lawful owners surrender them or face criminal penalties because a bureaucrat slapped an “assault-style” label on more than 2,500 models.
Calling that a “buyback” isn’t just misleading. It’s dishonest.
CBC’s reporting confirms what gun owners have been saying all along. The program only targets legally owned, registered firearms. Not smuggled guns, not gang weapons, not black-market pistols driving violent crime in Montreal or Toronto.
In fact, the CBC report openly acknowledges the central flaw: to believe this program improves public safety, you’d have to believe licensed Canadian gun owners are responsible for rising gang violence.
They’re not.
Even worse, enforcement appears optional in practice. A leaked recording caught the federal minister responsible admitting municipal police don’t have the resources to enforce the program. And that it was pushed largely to appease Quebec voters. That’s not public safety policy. That’s political theater.
And the logistics? A nightmare. Provinces are refusing to participate. Police agencies don’t want the job. The Nova Scotia pilot already failed. Yet Ottawa insists everything just needs “clarification,” as if Canadians didn’t understand the instructions well enough to surrender property they lawfully own.
Gun control advocates argue the goal isn’t stopping all crime. It’s preventing mass shootings. But even by that narrow metric, the policy makes no sense. Confiscating hunting rifles and competition firearms while illegal guns continue flowing across borders doesn’t reduce risk. It just punishes compliance.
The real message here isn’t subtle. Law-abiding gun owners saw the program for what it was and refused to play along. Twenty-five guns turned in wasn’t apathy. It was rejection.
Canada’s buyback isn’t failing because it hasn’t been explained well enough. It’s failing because it targets the wrong people, ignores real crime drivers, and treats a fundamental right like a government-issued privilege that can be bought back at a discount.
And that’s not a “step in the right direction.” It’s an expensive, embarrassing dead end.



