Never heard of the ‘Quiet Professionals’? Who is this beta?
CORONADO, CA — Navy SEAL Jason Galloway was visibly shaken yesterday after discovering that local bartender, Gary Wilson, had never once in his life heard of the Navy SEALs. Galloway, six years into his tenure with SEAL Team 5, was attempting to regale Wilson with tales of his escapades, from serving as a technical advisor on the CBS drama “SEAL Team” to “pulling” at bars in the gaslamp quarter of San Diego to his appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience podcast, when he noted the blank expression on Wilson’s face.
“I couldn’t believe it,” said Galloway. “My brothers and I have given our blood, sweat, and tears sacrificing for the people of this country to build our brand, and this is the thanks we get?”
Asked about the incident, Wilson, a 26-year-old law student and part-time bartender from Lincoln, Nebraska said, “When he first started describing his job, it sounded like he was some kind of hybrid actor/influencer/personal trainer type-thing. He kept insisting that, ‘There’s no fucking way you haven’t heard of us, bro!’
When he mentioned shooting guns I thought I had figured it out so I asked him, ‘Oh, you mean you’re like Rambo?’ and that just seemed to make him angrier. He kept talking about carrying boats and I got even more confused. I suggested he move to Hollywood because it seemed to align with his goals, to which he replied, ‘Oh believe me if only big Navy would let us.”
The back and forth included Galloway showing Wilson his Instagram following, a manuscript for his book “The Warrior Way”, and pictures of his Yeti cooler collection he supposedly got for free.
“It’s disheartening,” said Galloway, “all the movies, shows, video games, and interviews, the work we have done in the name of recognition and clout, it’s obvious that we still have so much work to do to win the hearts, minds, and attention of the people of this country.”
Galloway said he will go into greater detail about the incident on the upcoming episode 286 of his podcast: The Frogman Forge, available on Spotify and YouTube, as well as various podcasts of his fellow SEALs, where he will be a guest in the coming week.
Robert Campbell assures you the only easy day was yesterday unless you’re smart and capable of learning from your mistakes in which case tomorrow might actually be easier.