Month: November 2018
What a mess huh?
| December 4, 2015
Manly Skills, Outdoors, Survival, Vi
Whether you’re trying to survive in the frigid wilderness or you’re camping out in the winter for fun, building a quinzee is a great option for creating a shelter from the elements. All you need for its construction is a big pile of snow, which you then hollow out. Because it lacks a skeletal support structure, you’ll want to keep your quinzee relatively small — ideally building it for 3 people at the most. Shoveling all that snow works up a sweat, and snow will fall on you as you hollow out the inside, so be sure to change into dry clothes when you’re done to prevent hypothermia.
In today’s illustrated guide, we show you how to build your own quinzee with tips from Winter in the Wilderness by Dave Hall.
Like this illustrated guide? Then you’re going to love our book The Illustrated Art of Manliness! Pick up a copy on Amazon.
Illustration by Ted Slampyak
THE PENTAGON — The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency is attempting to bring President Dwight D. Eisenhower back to life, sources familiar with the top secret plans say.
“Let’s be honest,” said Dr. Frank Stein, the head of DARPA’s reanimation directorate. “We haven’t had a decent President since Eisenhower. After Ike, it’s either been them all getting us into endless wars or dipping their quills in every goddamn inkwell they can find.”
According to sources, the DOD has spent the past six months polling the military, and the overwhelming consensus of the troops is that the idea of either current major party candidate being the next Commander in Chief makes most in uniform “want to suck-start a shotgun.”
“Let’s be honest,” said Dr. Frank Stein, the head of DARPA’s reanimation directorate. “We haven’t had a decent President since Eisenhower. After Ike, it’s either been them all getting us into endless wars or dipping their quills in every goddamn inkwell they can find.”
According to sources, the DOD has spent the past six months polling the military, and the overwhelming consensus of the troops is that the idea of either current major party candidate being the next Commander in Chief makes most in uniform “want to suck-start a shotgun.”
The thought of the next Commander in Chief either being a probable felon who couldn’t protect national secrets if her life depended on it, or a blustering buffoon who “knows more about war than the generals” is just not that appealing, according to Stein, especially to the men and women who “will unfortunately have to execute whatever ill-conceived, cockamamie, fucking war that one of those two will inevitably get them into.”
It was reported that Eisenhower was chosen over all preceding presidents due to his overwhelming popularity, the relative peace and prosperity experienced during his tenure, and his unimpeachable character. However, sources close to the project indicate that Eisenhower’s prescient words upon leaving office, “beware the military-industrial complex,” have many inside the Pentagon concerned.
“That dead bastard Eisenhower will totally screw the sweet deal I have going with Lockheed, Boeing, and General Dynamics,” Frank Kendall, undersecretary of defense for acquisition, technology and logistics, told reporters. “I have to put the kibosh on this.”
In response to DARPA’s announcement, the Clinton campaign released the following statement:
“If our troops are looking for leadership from among the walking dead, they needn’t look any further. Secretary Clinton sold her soul to the devil decades ago.”
Not to be outdone, Donald Trump tweeted, “Eisenhower was a hack. I like leaders who don’t die, ok?”
Categories
Browning Model Bbr 7mm 24in Blue
