BRITAIN’S KNIFE CONTROL CAMPAIGN JUST GOT WAY FUNNIER
Over the weekend London mayor Sadiq Khan announced a strict crackdown, banning all knife possession.Yesterday the London police bragged about confiscating tools like pliers and scissors in their knife control efforts to keep the streets safe.
If you’re like me, you find this all to completely hilarious, but it’s nothing compared to what came next. A British police agency has released a series of anti-knife public service announcements that make those “this is you brain on drugs” commercials seem semi-serious.
The following are real tweets from the Office of the South Yorkshire Police and Crime Commissioner and not something from a parody account or a satire site:
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
Find positive activities to channel your energy and help you avoid dangerous situations. This will also help you meet others living knife free. #knifefree
Living knife free? This is like some kind of crazy abstinence propaganda, but instead of sex they are talking about stabbing. Too bad they didn’t include a list of activities people can do instead of stabbing. Like maybe beating people to death or shooting them.
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
If you find yourself in a confrontation, you have a choice – pulling a knife can escalate the situation and put you in serious danger. #knifefree
But what if you are being attacked by someone with a knife? I guess it’s better to just take the stabbing than to escalate things to where you might actually defend your life. It’s a small price to pay to live that healthy knife-free lifestyle.
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
Going knife free can be a brave and difficult choice – but your life will be better for it.
Unless you are stabbed to death by someone else, in which case your life will be much much worse.
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
Remember, it’s never too late to change your life. You are full of potential, and there are always options open to you – even if they aren’t clear in the moment. #knifefree
What, they could only afford 3 models to pose for these things?
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
99% of young people aged 10–29 don’t carry a knife. #knifefree – https://goo.gl/RjiMDP
See, everyone’s doing it, so you should too.
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
People who carry a weapon are more likely to be hospitalised with an injury caused by violence. #knifefree – https://goo.gl/RjiMDP
People who don’t carry a weapon are more likely to be victimized by someone who does. Facts are fun.
Office of SYPCC✔@SYPCC
There is no ‘safe place’ to stab someone – any stab can be fatal – and the consequences will be just as severe. #knifefree
That’s the weirdest one. Is there a common believe among young people in the UK that stabbing people is generally safe? Also, I call BS, there’s plenty of safe places to stab people: the earlobe, the pinky toe, anywhere there isn’t a major artery or vital organ, etc…
You thought anti-smoking or drug commercials in the US were stupid? This is literally old people telling youngsters that stabbing people isn’t as cool as they thought. I suspect that this will do nothing but make kids want to try stabbing another person just to see what it’s like.