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Fieldcraft Well I thought it was neat!

Don’t Burn Your Burrito !! By Richy J. Harrod

The dense, freezing fog enveloped our surroundings, flocking the pine needles, shrubs and grass with a layer of heavy frost. A light breeze hastened the icy buildup. Every breath on the steep hike up the ridgeline was a white cloud of steam twisting and swirling into the near whiteout conditions.

Sweaty backs chilled in the foggy breeze, and our feet ached from constant submersion in eight inches of powder snow. It was the late archery deer season in Washington State for me and my son-in-law, Chris. We had climbed nearly 1,500 feet of elevation, and now with the dreaded fog, we were ready to take a break, hoping it might soon lift. It was time to build a fire.

“Damn, it’s cold.”

“No shit, this is brutal.”

Late archery deer season has been one of my favorite hunts for over three decades. Deer hunting can be fantastic, especially with wintery conditions moving deer from summer range in the high country to their winter haunts on the lower treeline above the valley bottoms.

Hunting in cold, snowy, windy, foggy weather brings its own unique set of challenges. Bows squeak in the sub-freezing temperatures, and mechanical rests sometimes seize up. Hiking the steep, rugged Cascade Mountains covered in snow can seem impossible.

Keeping warm may be the hardest part, as the Pacific Northwest dishes out massive winter storms and temperatures in the teens or much colder.

I learned a long time ago that a warming fire can be a life saver, literally. A fire warms cold fingers, dries wet clothing, and has the bonus of providing a hot meal. Midday breaks with a small fire have become a tradition, which I was now passing on to Chris.

Making Fire, Making Memories

“Did you bring your breakfast burrito wrapped in tinfoil like I told you?”

“Yep, got it right here.”

“Perfect, we need to get this fire going and build a little coal bed first.”

We set about gathering the driest branches from Ponderosa pine and Douglas-fir tree trunks. We searched pine trees for globs of pitch to assist other fire-starting materials. The snow was scraped away with our feet at the base of a large, old pine tree to serve as the fire bed.

Finally, the little smoldering fire gathered strength, and we took turns quickly adding more tender until smoke gave way to flames. At last, the penetrating cold from fog was at bay with our warming fire. A few minutes more and we could start cooking our burritos.

It always amazes me how a small fire can change your attitude and rejuvenate the body. Researchers have suggested that humans throughout history have used campfires for social gathering, reducing anxiety, and other practical uses such as cooking or deterring predators.

A big part of the warming fire to me is the chance to make some hot food. A warm meal also improves attitude and helps handle the tough weather.

“Bunch some of those coals with a stick and just lay your burrito against them.”

“How long does it take?”

“A few minutes, but you got to turn it often to get that perfect 360 warming and a little bit of crispiness to the tortilla.”

The Perfect Field Burrito

Over the last few years, the burrito contents and perfect cooking on the fire has become a bit of a competition. Standard ingredients include bacon, sausage, eggs, onions, cheese, and hash browns. Thanksgiving leftovers are especially envious fixings. In the end, browning the tortilla to a perfect buckskin brown is the goal of the unspoken competition.

Browning the burrito is facilitated by perfect coals. Douglas-fir and ponderosa pine branches about one inch in diameter work well to quickly generate glowing coals. Small branches burn rapidly, so there is some work to gather a pile of dry branches broken into short lengths to feed the fire.

Glowing embers are heaped with the help of a stick on the edge of the flaming part of the fire. Now the cooking can commence.

Heavy duty aluminum foil wrapped at least twice around the burrito works best for warming the contents and crisping the tortilla. We call the cheap aluminum foil “thin foil,” and burritos will burn easily, especially if not tended. Burning the tortilla can make the entire burrito uneatable as the foul smoke permeates the contents, making it taste like a burnt sock!

The time around a warming fire watching for deer movement has made some of my most cherished memories. A midday fire and eating warm food has become an integral part of the hunt. We tell our stories of difficult hikes, details of stalks on bucks, or other wildlife seen. It’s a time to bond as family or strengthen friendships by sharing the challenge of the hunt and ribbing each other — “Hey, don’t burn your burrito.”

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Well I thought it was neat! You have to be kidding, right!?!

THE SKUNK APE BY WILL DABBS, MD

The legend of the skunk ape is as old as antiquity.

“Something killed my cat,” the boy said flatly. The ride home from school on the bus always seemed interminable. Danny and Bud were the same age and lived side-by-side way out in the sticks in north-central Mississippi. They both despised school. As 10-year-old boys, they certainly did not break any fresh ground in that regard. All 10-year-old boys hated school.

Their friendship was the only thing that made the day tolerable. The weather had been too bad to go outside for recess. As a result, the bus ride home was their first real chance to visit. Additionally, Danny had held sincere affection for that cat. He had not felt like discussing it previously.

“Something killed Felix?” Bud asked. “I liked your cat.”

“Yeah, me, too,” Danny said. “He was a good cat, always bringing up dead moles, lizards, and stuff. I found him out behind the barn. What I found didn’t really look much like a cat.”

“What happened to him?” Bud asked.

“Don’t much know,” Danny replied. “Dad said it was most likely a bobcat or a coyote. He said it didn’t hurt long, so at least there’s that.”

The bus came to a complete stop in front of a railroad crossing. When the driver took the vehicle over the tracks, the rear end jumped, throwing the two boys briefly up and out of their seats. This phenomenon was most pronounced right over the rear axles. That’s why they chose this seat. After a few moments in silence, Bud continued, “I bet it was a skunk ape.”

Danny looked at his friend curiously and said, “What’s a skunk ape?”

“Caitlyn told me about it,” Bud explained. “A skunk ape is kind of like Sasquatch or the abominable snow monster. They live in the woods in Florida and eat people’s dogs and stuff.”

Danny looked at Bud in silence for a full half minute.

“Caitlyn told you?” he asked. “Your sister Caitlyn? The same Caitlyn who also convinced you there was a bridge to Hawaii? Caitlyn lies about everything. There’s no such thing as a skunk ape.”

Bud pulled out his phone. He had gotten it two months earlier for his birthday. It was a hand-me-down from his mom after she upgraded. His parents had put filters on it, but he could still get Wikipedia.

The skunk ape and his cousin Sasquatch have purportedly
been seen countless times.

“I looked it up,” Bud said. “Wikipedia says the skunk ape is a real thing. You’re right. Caitlyn lies about everything, but Wikipedia doesn’t lie. Wikipedia is like the government or something.”

Both boys hovered over the vintage iPhone as Bud worked his thumbs.

“The skunk ape is a large hairy human-like mythical creature purported to inhabit the forests and swamps in the southeastern United States, most notably in Florida. It is often compared to Bigfoot.”

“I don’t know,” Danny said. “Still sounds fake to me. Even if it is on Wikipedia. What’s a skunk ape look like?”

Bud scrolled down further.

“The skunk ape is commonly described as a bipedal human or ape-like creature, approximately 1.5–2.1 m (5–7 feet) tall and covered in mottled reddish-brown hair. The skunk ape is often reported to be smaller in stature compared to traditional descriptions of Bigfoot. It is named for its foul odor, often described as being similar to a skunk.”

“Doesn’t say anything about what a skunk ape eats,” Danny said. “If it ate cats, I’d think Wikipedia would say.”

The two boys pored over the rest of the article between potholes. Bud and Danny’s homes were the last stop on the run. By the time the driver finally put out the folding Stop sign they had both read the article and knew a fair amount about skunk apes.

“Thanks, Tommy,” Bud said to the driver as they climbed off the bus. The bus driver smiled and closed the door behind them, anxious to get the bus put to bed. It was a quarter mile down a meandering common drive to get to Bud and Danny’s respective houses.

“I still think it was a bobcat,” Danny mused as they walked. “I don’t think skunk apes are real. And this is Mississippi, not Florida. Even if they were real, I don’t think they’d live up here.”

“You’re probably right,” Bud said. “And Caitlyn does lie a lot.”

The two boys continued down the driveway in silence.

The skunk ape lurked within the tree line, watching the two boys intently as they kicked along the dusty driveway. His thick, matted red hair melded into the surrounding foliage perfectly. He sat perfectly still, embracing the shadows.

This particular skunk ape was fully eight feet tall. He traveled at night, and his prodigious stride made the trek up from Florida a fairly expeditious affair. Most of this area was still unspoiled wilderness, so finding his coveted solitude was not a chore. Climate change had left the Florida swamps too hot and fraught with mosquitoes.

The skunk ape was hungry. That stringy cat had not been terribly filling for a creature his size. He peered silently at the two unsuspecting boys, his stomach beginning to growl.

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