Category: Well I thought it was funny!

WHAT IF ZOMBIES SHOW UP IN CARS? By Will Dabbs, MD

Post author By Grumpy
Post date November 8, 2022
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“What do you need all those guns for, anyway?”

Many the gun nerd’s dreams have been crushed by that simple query. I have myself fielded that very question on numerous occasions. I like to think I’ve gotten fairly good at it.

Have you ever worked on a car? A box wrench is a lousy tool for removing screws, and a hammer renders suboptimal service cleaning your battery terminals. When it comes to automotive maintenance, there are different tools for different tasks. So it is in the gun world as well.

A specialized gun for a specialized role is always a good idea — or a good excuse to buy a cool gun!

If you are scooting out to the local Shop-n-Grab to pick up a gallon of milk and some unmentionables for your wife, then you need a pocket gun you can drop into your cargo shorts. If you want to kill a lazy Saturday afternoon transforming .22 into noise then you need a handy rimfire and a bunch of empty Coke cans. If you’re securing your hacienda against bipedal predators, then a SAINT AR-15 is your go-to iron. But what if zombies show up driving cars?

It’s not as ludicrous as it sounds. The 5.56mm is a proven social cartridge, but it doesn’t pack a great deal of downrange horsepower. If you live way out in the sticks as do I then it might be half an hour between dialing 911 and having the cavalry roar up the drive. To help me pass those 30 long minutes I want something with some reach that will reliably punch deep. That means .30-caliber power and Springfield Armory awesome. I fill that niche with a tricked-out M1A SOCOM 16.

Will fitted a muzzle adapter for his quick-detach flash suppressor mount onto his gas block so he could attach a suppressor.

Origins

The 7.62x51mm M14 served on the front lines for about a decade. An interim design between John Cantius Garand’s World War II masterpiece and Gene Stoner’s space age wondergun, the M14 offered a proven reliable autoloading action fed by a detachable box magazine. The inimitable ergonomics and downrange horsepower made it a true rifleman’s rifle while keeping it in military service in one capacity or another for more than half a century.

Will’s suppressor of choice for the project was a Silent Legion Multi-Caliber Suppressor Kit that can work with both 7.62mm and 5.56mm guns.

Springfield Armory offers the basic M14 platform in a bewildering array of configurations as the semi-automatic M1A. The most advanced in my opinion is the SOCOM 16 CQB. Featuring John Garand’s classic action nestled within an optimized Archangel polymer stock, the SOCOM 16 CQB makes this venerable rifle competitive with any modern iron.

My SOCOM came with a Vortex Venom red dot sight and a flared magazine well for fast reloads. The safety is still a pivoting tab in the front of the trigger guard that doesn’t care which hand you favor. The charging handle reciprocates with the bolt so you can manhandle the thing in the profoundly unlikely event of a stoppage. M-LOK slots allow copious accessorizing, while generous sling sockets enhance portage. With this as a starting point, I took my SOCOM to the next level. You know, for those zombies in cars.

Will rounded out the package with a Magpul hand stop and a Streamlight TLR-8 combination light and laser.

Tactical Enhancements

I have a Silent Legion Multi Caliber Suppressor Kit that includes a high-efficiency .30-caliber sound suppressor and four different mounts for both 5.56mm and 7.62mm weapons. Thread mounts affix directly, while proprietary flash suppressor mounts make quick attachment and detachment a snap. The problem is that the threads on the SOCOM muzzle are a bit non-standard.

The muzzle device on the SOCOM is a stubby little ventilated thing that does a splendid job of mitigating the chaos up front. However, I wanted to mount up my quick-detach flash suppressor. That took a little searching.

You can find most anything on GunBroker. A professionally executed muzzle adapter that fits painlessly onto my gas block and sports standard 5/8×24 threads set me back $60. Mounting the thing up took maybe 10 minutes, even swapping over the luminous front sight blade. Tighten it down and the gas plug keeps everything snug. A spot of thread locker and the flash suppressor mount is there for the duration.

With this SOCOM 16 set up, Will was ready to take on that caravan of zombies — or just have an excuse for buying a bunch of fun stuff.

I added a Magpul hand stop and a Streamlight TLR-8 combination light and laser to complete the ensemble. The hand stop puts my weak hand in the same spot every time, while the TLR-8 dispels the darkness and keeps me on target day or night. Thus equipped, I am ready for any reasonable threat as well as most of the unreasonable sorts as well.

Ruminations

My tricked out SOCOM 16 sits alongside my favorite 5.56mm black rifle as well as a 9mm carbine ready to defend the household, come what may. Just like car maintenance, I grab the best tool for the task. Keeping sharp on them all takes practice, but it’s not like that’s work. If you live in the sort of place where the zombies might wear soft body armor and show up in a caravan, a nicely accessorized SOCOM 16 is just the right tool — or just a really cool gun to own. I’ll leave it to you to decide.

The Horror! Well I thought it was funny!

Well I thought they were funny! NSFW

Post author By Grumpy
Post date November 6, 2022
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Only the Germans would make a toy like this!

Well I thought it was funny!

Yep

Post author By Grumpy
Post date November 5, 2022
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Manly Stuff Soldiering Well I thought it was funny!

THE IMMORTAL SHOWER AND HOLY CHILI BY WILL DABBS, MD

Post author By Grumpy
Post date November 1, 2022
No Comments on THE IMMORTAL SHOWER AND HOLY CHILI BY WILL DABBS, MD

When you’ve been living like a farm animal and haven’t removed
your clothes in a month this is what heaven looks like.

Human beings are waterproof, and personal comfort is a state of mind. I actually used to believe tripe like that. Among the big three survival requirements of food, water and shelter, I always kind of felt that shelter was more a desirable luxury than an absolute necessity. That was then. Nowadays, were I to sleep on the ground I wouldn’t be able to walk upright for a week afterwards.

The winter is the primary training time in the arctic reaches of Alaska. Our mission was cold weather combat operations, so that was naturally the best time to train. That unfortunate mantra acquainted me with some of the most ghastly weather.

I’m a skinny guy from Mississippi. A really cold day down where I live was maybe 30 degrees Fahrenheit. Then, Uncle Sam sent me to Alaska just to give me a little perspective.

Our first winter in Fairbanks it snowed 144 inches. New math tells us that is 12 feet. The coldest it got while I was stationed there was 62 degrees below zero, and we were in the field. If I never see another snowflake, it will be too soon.

Our field training exercises typically lasted three or four weeks. We would load up all of our killer gear and deploy to some remote wasteland to stage our tactical missions day or night. Not that this mattered a whole lot. It’s always dark up there in the wintertime, anyway. I’ve flown night vision goggles above the arctic circle at noon.

It’s tough to get worked up about much more than basic survival at fifty below zero. Aircraft and vehicles become instantly cold-soaked once you shut them down. In a survival situation you have to dig a big hole in the snow for a shelter because crawling into the snow is actually markedly WARMER than being outside.

Each arctic tent nominally housed ten guys and included a Yukon stove that would run on most anything flammable. We most typically used jet fuel. Once you got that stove cooking it made the most mesmerizing sound. We called it “Yuking.” As each drop of fuel hit the burner plate, atomized, and burned it made a pleasant little pop. Just thinking about that sound right now brings a smile.

Even wide open that stove still had a hopeless task. The tents were canvas, after all, and the outside air temperature was fifty below. As a result I would go an entire month without being warm. Under such sordid circumstances I’m living proof that you can indeed survive, but you’ll never be comfortable.

Once we finally got back to garrison we still had to clean and stow absolutely everything. You never knew when you might be called upon to go to war. Before anybody went home it was staged and ready to rock again. I’d come dragging into the house after a month in the field in the arctic as filthy as a feral pig and utterly exhausted. When finally the magical time arrived my precious bride was ready.

If you’ve read this column for long you should have a decent idea as to my personality and comportment. I describe myself as a high-effort, high-payoff sort of guy. However, living with me has got to be a chore most onerous. My wife does so with grace and poise.

We had a routine. I’d dump my filthy killer gear inside the door and strip down to my skivvies for hugs from my wife and kids. As that was the first time I had come out of those clothes in a month I cannot imagine how they could stand it. I then retreated to the shower.

We lived on post at Fort Wainwright. All the inhabited buildings were heated by a central heating facility that pumped hot ethylene glycol through underground pipes to keep the dwellings and facilities habitable. Our house had the neatest heat exchanger in the basement that provided hot water from this central boiler. We literally never ran short of hot water. You could run the hot tap for a week, and it would never cool off. That first shower back in the World typically lasted about an hour and a half. By the time I wrapped up, I was too weak to stand.

I would then dry off as best I was able and wriggle into a bathrobe before slithering downstairs to the dining room. There, my precious bride had a massive pot of her signature steaming hot chili and some ice-cold Coke waiting. I would eat that stuff until I literally thought I might explode. Now swollen up like a toad, I would crawl into bed and sleep the sleep of the dead.

I have no idea what heaven will be like. While details are scant, I have it on reliable information that the company will be great and everything else will be comparably awesome. However, I fear I might be just a wee bit disappointed if off in a corner someplace there’s not an immortal shower and some of my wife’s signature holy chili. That mystical combination sure seemed heavenly to me.