You Will Shoot Your Eye Out

Now it would of been easy to write a rant about what the way you have been changed for the worst. Like this one.

What with the Mega fires due to stupidity & greed, The Race Riots, overcrowding, an unfixable housing problem by again greed and stupidity and the mudslides that come every year during the Winter rains.

Also the Earthquakes, High Speed Trains that go no where, our ridiculous taxes, a vastly expensive & invasive state, county and local governments. Or the wonderful brown outs, expensive gas prices. Or the political idiots & the powerful government unions that basically run this state.

That & the vast number of sad, crazy, drug addicted, disgusting, smelly, thieving, begging Bums / Freeloaders out here. Oops I mean the “Homeless Folks” as we might upset those poor creatures feelings. So lets throw BILLIONS of hard earned Californian tax dollars at them. As I won’t mention the amazing amount of additional Federal Tax Money either.

But then surprise!! We never really see where the money or how it was spent. Seeing as our wacked out Governor VETOED a bill that would of created a review of where the money went and how effective it was.

(And this Clown thinks that he will one day soon become President of the USA. God help us all if that disaster happens!)

Now I say bring back the chain gangs and tent camps out in the Mojave Desert near Barstow. That and throw in some really sadistic guards into the mix. Or how about a one way bus tickets back to where you were born. Seeing as that you just lost your California Ticket.

That and if you do come back without a say a job. Then you get to live at San Quentin Prison with a Kiddie Rapist Jacket. Where you will then get some real intense personal treatment from Guys who have nothing to lose.

“Hey I just got ANOTHER triple life without any chance of parole. So come here sweetie it’s time to party!!”

As I am sure that all the folks on Death Row would just love this idea of mine also. As it must be very boring there just sitting around with nothing to do. While thinking of ways to making the guards lives there as miserable as possible. As that’s your only real entertainment. That is until the BIG day comes for you after sitting there for several decades.

Speaking of which. I also want to thank all my former students in Juvenile Hall. I hope that you all got your act together. Or failing that you got life w/o parole. But may God bless you guys anyways!

Moving on. OR HOW ABOUT?

Maybe the unbelievable gun laws here? Which just beg to attacked by the Civil Rights section of the US Justice Department. Since the Supreme Court finally said that the Second Amendment actually is the law of the land!

Or a huge gang problem that feeds off of our citizens that just can’t face live without its daily fix of drugs and prostitution. I think that you would be just amazed at the huge sums of money involved in this area.

(Now to be honest. I admit that I went to a few Whore Houses here when I was a lot younger and even more stupid than I am today. Before I settled down with the worlds greatest wife.)

But frankly that dead horse has not been beaten into hamburger meat.

No instead I want to just say Thank You for the many kindnesses that you have given me and my family. Most of them that now rest in your loving embrace. (I really hope that you guys are happy now where ever your Souls may be!)

So where to start? I mean it’s been a wild ride since that day on the 30 December 1958 at Good  Samaritan Hospital in Down Town Los Angeles. (Now lets see now, I subtract Dec.1958 from 2026 and get 67.)

Yes I am that old now, Moving on People!

Where my great old Dad then put me in a Black Salad Bowl which we then ate out for years to come. While Mom shook open a Champagne bottle and got it to sprayed all over the place. (My folks and the nurses then drank what was left.)

I also want to thank all of my Teachers many of whom were really good and dedicated folks.

Where by the sheer grace of God. I was finally able to read and write. That gave me a few College Degrees too! (Yes there must be a God as that really was a Miracle!)

Now I could bore you with some clever and nasty remarks about all the idiots, rascals, assholes etc. etc. that were either spawned here or invaded the place. But that’s not your fault really Sunshine State!

Instead I want to thank you for all of the Great and just Wonderful folks that I had the great fortune to run into.

Now sadly I would have to easily take the rest of the day to write a list of these wonderful, smart, tough, kind folks. Who have by their sheer existence have taught me so much and made my life so much better. While I frankly have given back so little to them. All I can do is to give my humble thanks to you all!

So before The Boss & I blast off to Connecticut of all places to be closer to the Son & Heir & the Grand Kids. I will say that there are going to be quite a few things that I am going to miss with you.

One is the weather and your almost complete lack of humidity. Which makes it almost boring as my soon to be ex neck of the woods has really only two seasons.

I.E. Its Hot or it rains a bit for a couple of months in winter. (“Gee Grumpy that’s too bad!’)

Another is you sheer beauty of your landscape. What with your great beaches, purple mountains, vast forests in the north to your desolate deserts. All of it you can see either driving or take a hour long plane ride.

But what I will really miss is the prettiest place on earth. Which is the Central Coast between Morro Bay and Santa Cruz. As the Big Sur has captured my heart forever.

Now if you don’t believe me about Big Sur. Then why is it that all of those car ads show on TV. Have their new cars being driven down it? Huh? I can wait for an answer.

The other thing is the wonderful & diverse types of food we have here. Like Mort’s Deli or Bee’s Bakery out in Reseda. Or the sadly gone Burger Continental over in Pasadena. Which that wonderful place was forced closed by those idiots Pasadena city government as I think that they did not pay them off enough.

Another long gone treasure was Alioto’s on Fisherman’s Wharf in Frisco which had the best seafood I ever had and a great view of the Bay too.

Moving on. I also want to take the time to thank all of the ladies that took pity on me & were kind to me. Thank you for all that you taught me & I REALLY wish you well! That and we do here have a huge surplus of some of the best looking women on the Planet.

Now I guess that I could go on forever about you and the things you have invented.

What with California giving the rest of the world a lot of stuff. Like the Movies, Disneyland, some great wine, a ton of fruits (Yeah the stuff you eat, But we do have more than our fair share of those folks here too.) & vegetables. Also a  lot of Gold was & is dug up here!

Computers, a couple of really great harbors that help with trade with Asia. An amazing University called Caltech that with MIT over in Boston is the best university in the world.

The Rose Bowl, an active Volcano that we don’t mention much about for some reason. A couple of huge and I mean huge banks (Wells Fargo and Bank of America)

Well I could go on and on. So all I can do is this! I will miss most of you. I also hope that one day that you get a better class of Leaders than you have today.

(Geez how the f*ck did we get these fuck ups? That and how in the Hell do they keep getting re elected?)

As you really do deserve better! Anyways if I forgot something well I’m sorry about that. So good bye and good luck! It’s been a great ride California. 

I will miss you. Grumpy